Updated: Mar 25, 2020
In July of 2018, I drank my first cup of Ayahuasca.
I had reached a period in my life in the Spring of 2019 that I considered that the world would be better off without me... and it scared me.
I needed a quantum leap and against the warnings from one of my counselors, I was called to and chose to trust plant medicine.
I was the only child of an alcoholic father who estranged me in 2015 and who had died without me knowing in June 2017. My mother, a lifelong and abusive RX drug addict, was in hospice care. My husband and I could rarely talk about the hard things in life and feeling without a fight. We were living two lives apart. I was a busy yoga studio owner, a busy yoga teacher, and a busy hygienist. To be busy was a numbing agent, as was alcohol and tobacco. I was seeing three different counselors to keep my shit together... and moving forward at a snail's pace. And I was to be a grandmother.
I needed a quantum leap and against the warnings from one of my counselors, I was called to and chose to trust plant medicine. The first drink showed me who I'd become, and how I got there. Memories not accessible to brain spotting and EMDR trauma therapy came flooding in. I saw myself as a young child and witnessed the madness of my early childhood. I was shown my strength, my healing gifts, and my deep connection to nature.
Subsequent journeys healed my body, my dis-ease, allowed my soul to reconnect, and massively healed my heart. I was shown how MUCH I am loved by the Mother of all and that I could release the ancestral dysfunction that resides in my DNA. A year ago, my husband joined me on this journey and he too began to heal his life. We have continued this journey together and have attended more ceremonies in 2019 and 2020.
Today, we are dedicated to bringing people to the medicine so that they may also heal, reconnect with nature, and embrace their true essence. I no longer want to leave this planet... I want to stay and help! I also have little to no desire for alcohol and have shifted and changed my relationship with tobacco. Free from addiction, my body is healthy and strong. And my marriage has a common language, a lot of support and shared purpose.